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What would you do if your partner or spouse goes to their parents for advice rather than to you?   


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Dave Beer
@Dave · Updated 23 Nov. 2021


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Bomb . Carpe Diem...
@bomb · Posted 23 Nov. 2021

What?! This is not appropriate. I will not take this lightly. But before i react i will try to establish why s/he found it hard to discuss with me in the first place. Getting to know the reason behind it may help you change the way you handle things. Or at least it will help you get their perspective of things. But generally, i will not feel good to learn that they went to my parents. I wouldnt want to give my parents my problems. I can handle them myself. 

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Osheen Sharma
@Osheen.Sharma · Posted 24 Nov. 2021

I think the question is about your spouse going to their parents, not yours. However, I do want to know why you think it would be inappropriate to go to either set of parents for advice?

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Bomb . Carpe Diem...
@bomb · Posted 25 Nov. 2021

Oh yea, sure. I seem to have missed that part. But still i don't find it appropriate for my partner to seek for advice from any party that will be biased in some way. For instance, if s/he seeks advice from their parent, they will definitely be biased towards them. Same applies to me, my parent's advice will be biased towards me. 

Therefore, i would rather seek advice from a professional (not even a friend). That way, you will get unbiased and objective advice instead of one sided kind of advice. That is my take on this. 

Relationship advice is very sensitive, one may act on an advice that was biased and end up causing more problems instead of resolving the issue.


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Ryan M
@RyanM · Posted 24 Nov. 2021

Well that depends on the situation I think. Sometimes I would understand if my girlfriend went to her parents for advice. Honestly I would go to her parents for advice myself. I think when it comes to our parents, they do provide a much needed knowledge of life, and asking them questions isn't something I see a problem with. Even if she was asking for advice in regards to us, I'm okay with that. Because who better than her own parents? Parents love to help honestly. I've gone to my parents for advice a lot. 

But again, it depends on the situation and what my partner would be asking. If it pertains to something I know well, sure I'd expect her to ask me, but if it's something about life, family, etc, I see no issue with her asking her parents for advice. Plus, I'm by no means a pool of knowledge myself lol. So what if I can't give the advice she's looking for? 


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Osheen Sharma
@Osheen.Sharma · Posted 24 Nov. 2021

I wouldn't care as much to be honest. It is their choice and I would not expect them to put my opinion over their parents' because I wouldn't do that either. I personally don't think getting offended over things like this can be conducive to a healthy relationship. 


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Debbie Katz Free Spirit
@debkatz78 · Posted 25 Nov. 2021

My husband is not very close with his family so this situation is never going to be the case. For the sake of the question though, I think it depends. Some advice would be best coming from his father or mother. I would not be hurt by it. I would just hope he told me about it at the very least. 


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