How to Save a Marriage After Infidelity
Unfortunately, mistakes can happen throughout marriage and infidelity is one of those mistakes. We live in a vast world with temptations beyond belief and sometimes, infidelity can happen in even the happiest of marriages
On the day of your wedding, you take vows to love, honor, and cherish one person for your entire life. It is a joyous occasion with singing, dancing, and being surrounded by people celebrating your happy union. Unfortunately, mistakes can happen throughout marriage and infidelity is one of those mistakes. We live in a vast world with temptations beyond belief and sometimes, infidelity can happen in even the happiest of marriages. If you have experienced infidelity in your marriage, whether it was your fault or the fault of your partner, there is still hope, and here are some ways you can save your marriage once infidelity has reared its ugly head.
Don’t Do Anything Rash
Infidelity is something that when discovered, brings on feelings of anger, regret, and ultimate betrayal. It is easy to completely lose yourself in these emotions, especially if you walked in on the affair, but more damage can be done if you succumb to your feelings. Making a rash decision, at this point, can lead to far more damning results than the initial infidelity. Partners have used this anger to get back at their loved ones through revenge infidelity, destroying their belongings, or even, in the most severe cases, murder. You can plainly see how these emotions can completely ruin, not merely a marriage, but lives.
Instead, attempt to distance yourself from the situation, if possible. Give yourself some time to gather your thoughts and think rationally about the situation. Also, in today’s modern world, infidelity is often blasted through social media as a means of ruining the reputation of the other party. Avoid putting it all out there on social media and talking to friends about it. Remember, when you made your vows, it was between you and your partner, and airing out your dirty laundry in public is a bad idea all around.
Bring in Someone Else
I know what you are thinking, bringing in someone else was how we got into this situation. However, professional help can often be necessary to cope with the infidelity and move on. Sometimes, two people can talk things through and get beyond the indiscretion, but those instances are rare. Talk to a professional and seek counsel for both of you. Bringing in a professional will provide a go-between to keep debates and discussions from becoming too heated.
Do not Cut Off Communication
Cutting off communication can be a bad way to contend with infidelity. Allow yourself some time to absorb the information into your mind, but do not cut immediate ties with your partner. You need to talk and get everything out in the open. You need to express yourself in a constructive way. Communication is vital at this point if you have hopes of saving your marriage.
Leave the Kids Out of it if Possible
Children do not need to know everything, especially if they are very young and unable to understand what is going on. Even if you have resentment for your partner over infidelity, do not allow your children to know it. Children feed off the emotions of their parents and that resentment can grow within them as well. You do not want that for your children, so this is something you will want to keep them far removed from.
Admit it if You Did It
We live in a world where no one wants to admit they did anything wrong. Denial is an amazing device, but it can be a terrible thing for a relationship. Relationships are about honesty and maintaining integrity. If you were the one unfaithful, whether you have been caught or not, simply admit it. There will be some consequences for the actions, but admitting you were wrong is one of the strongest things you can do for your marriage. Your partner deserves to know if you were unfaithful and to be given an opportunity to react.
Infidelity is a problem in many marriages, but the important thing to remember that not all is lost if your significant other steps out on you. It can be blamed on lack of intimacy within a marriage, boredom, alcohol, drugs, or simply an overactive imagination taking over, but no matter the case, if your marriage means enough to you, you will try to mend the bond broken by infidelity.
If this ever happens to you, remember, you and your partner are human and subject to a certain degree of failure. It does not mean the marriage is completely burned never to be repaired again. It simply means that it is time to put on your big boy or girl pants, act like an adult, and remember the love you have for one another. Although it is never comfortable to broach the subject, many marriages have become stronger and even more intimate, even after an affair.